Hey, you guys are Americans, right? Which means you're spending all day today foaming at your fat mouths and gnashing your rotten teeth as your frantic, sunlight-averse eyes desperately seek out any and all deals, deals, DEALS, right? Hopefully you're shopping for me, with your copies of "The Mercury's Holiday Wish List" clutched in your sweaty little hands. Well, drop that paper immediately because it was all BULLSHIT LIES! I retroactively change every single one of my things on that dumb list to ONE THING: All I want for Xmas and for the rest of my life is ThinkGeek's R2D2 USB Car Charger.
I don't even need to charge anything in my car. I just want R2 hanging out in my cup holder, beeping and being R2 and shit.
I thank you for your generosity this holiday season, and I deeply apologize for any comments regarding your physical appearance or relentless consumerism that I might have made earlier in this post.