Man, so-called hipsters can't escape the hate... even in the wilderness!
Your fucking “camp vibes” won’t help you in the harsh realities of true adventure. It’s a cold, icy, dirty world in the backcountry and as someone who’s spent time as a dirt-bagging climber, I can assure you that retro poncho isn’t going to do shit when the squalls blast off the coast. And don’t get me started on those backpacks. No excursion with your ‘Excursion Pack’ would be successful – zero practical features and a design from the 1960’s – there’s a reason backpacks aren’t made this way anymore. But hey, I get it, your shit is the perfect accessory to the mustachioed and ‘gentlemens hair-coiffed,’ urban outdoorsmen – the ones who know where to order the perfect Americano, but couldn’t start a fire in the woods if their privileged lives depended on it.
RAHH!! ME AM MAN! ME CAMP RIGHT! HIPSTER CAMP WRONG! RAAAAAHHHH! (Maybe he's right about the poncho, though.) Hey, do you have a rant or confession to get off your chest? Submit it to the I, Anonymous Blog—which proudly hikes with a "Hello Kitty" backpack.