• Jake Bailey

September 12: Learn this date, and learn it well, for it shall now be known as the day Katy Perry will grace the Moda Center with her inimitable presence. ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS I AM??? Probably not!

As Mercury's terrifyingly prophetic music editor, Ned Lannamann, noted back in 2009, Katy Perry "has something to irritate everyone," which he sort of meant in a good way? Here's Ned talking about the only kind of people who, back in those unenlightened times, didn't like Katy Perry at least a little bit.

Ah, yes: the holier-than-thou indie snob.... To these cross-armed elite, Katy Perry is the antithesis of all that is good and just—she's a major label pop tart with no indie credibility, a poor American imitation of the wretched Lily Allen. But keep in mind that both "I Kissed a Girl" and "Hot N Cold" have some seriously inescapable melodies. Just give the snobs enough time: Soon enough, they'll be drunkenly screeching Katy Perry at a karaoke night near you.

And if hearing "I Kissed a Girl" and "Hot N Cold" LIVE (fine, probably not technically live) isn't thrilling enough, Katy Perry herself designed the stage for the tour! From an engineering perspective that sounds pretty dubious, but okay. Via the press release:

The state-of-the art stage, specifically designed by Katy for THE PRISMATIC WORLD TOUR, allows her to get closer to her fans than ever before. The one-of-a-kind set design will provide concert-goers with a truly magical experience from every angle in the arena. Ticket offerings include a limited number of general admission tickets in the intimate "Reflection Section."

Reflection Section?! What! I don't even know! What I do know is that if there was ever an excuse to count down Katy Perry's six best music videos, THIS IS IT. You're welcome!

6. "Melancholy Elderly Woman Comes to the Unavoidable Realization That Life Only Gets Worse the Longer It Goes On"

5. "Fucked-Up Decisions That Probably Shouldn't Be Bragged About"

4. "Into the Wild"

3. "American Children Have a Terrifyingly High Rate of Diabetes"

2. "Close Encounters of the Kanye Kind"

1. "Katy Perry: Brain Slicer Will Psychically Hunt You Down Inside Your Mind and Destroy Your Feeble Consciousness If You Ever Think About Leaving Her at the Altar"

(Note: I didn't include the videos for "Teenage Dream" or "Firework," but they are also very close to my heart, and probably would have come in at 7 and 8, respectively. I hate to say it, but "Waking Up in Vegas" is totally overrated.)