Oh, look, I don't care about football. I like beer and snacks and halftime shows that involve Beyoncé, but the actual sitting-around-watching-sports part isn't really my thing. Which is why Hand2Mouth Theatre's "Alt Superbowl" on Sunday promises to be lots of fun, for those of us who like everything about Super Bowl parties but the Super Bowl: At both of their Sunday showings of Pep Talk (3 pm & 8 pm), your $15 ticket includes beer, pizza, and chips, as well as halftime entertainment from breakdancers Moon Patrol Crew.

Pep Talk is an experimental theater piece inspired by football—or at least, the version of football most appealing to theater kids, which is that presented by Coach Eric Taylor and the East Dillon Lions. The show examines motivational speeches and coaches, based in part on Friday Night Lights. (Literally everything I know about football comes from that show, and I spent four years in high school marching band listlessly playing "25 or 6 to 4" from the bleachers.) Ticket info lives here.

And now for a moment with Tami Taylor.