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SPORTS—Sure, there's the possibility that Blazers vs. Grizzlies could be a surprise slobberknocker; Memphis knocked off Oklahoma City once this year, so they can play the role of spoiler. But, c'mon: The Blazers will likely wreck this squad like a Portland driver in one inch of snow. And as YouTube's proven, that shit is entertaining as hell to watch. BR
Moda Center, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $16-139

FILM—Obnoxious dweebs have done their best to ruin Monty Python and the Holy Grail—quoting it at every opportunity, screeching "NI!" whenever you steal their lunch money—but even they can't tarnish the glory of the 1975 comedy classic. See it on the big screen with a beer, as god (and Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir-Lancelot) intended. EH
Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, see Film Times for showtimes, $4