Uh, it's January so you may have noticed a little self-improvement happening around here (what do you mean "no"???). For one thing, this year the Merc decided to try out a little thing called "fitness"—heard of it? And thus, the first ever Fitness Issue came to pass.

In it you'll find something you might not expect: good, common sense. No really, check, like, here and maybe here. It's in there, I swear. There's also lots of fun ideas to get your sweat on, like relatively unironic Jazzercise and Zumba classes, professional ideas for rigging up your own DIY boot camp for free, and trampolines! Plus if you don't actually like to feel your own sweat, there's aqua aerobics and a handy list of places to swim in Portland year round. Last but certainly not least is the soul-searching, bowel-emptying journey of a dude who thinks juice cleanses are "a sham," but tried one anyway because he's a champ. A champ who is not shy about sharing the disruptions of his poop-cycle with the world.

And, they're all accompanied by the hyperrealistic drawings of Joseph Harmon!