Spouting the same thin rationalizations about "Russophobes and neo-Nazis," and bemoaning a scheming West, Russian President Vladimir Putin has annexed the Crimean peninsula, saying: "If you press a spring too hard. It will recoil."

Or did he? Russia's pretty much the only country that sees the annexation as valid. But while economic daggers are poised in the hands of the US, Germany and others, Ukrainian leaders—the ones who just kicked out the pro-Russian president—say they'll respond by improving relations with Moscow

Meanwhile, remember how we're all still trying to get Iran to walk back its nuclear ambitions? Probably not a situation being helped by the bleak theater in Crimea.

So someone—the captain? the co-pilot?—reprogrammed the flight plan of the missing Malaysia Airlines jet. And then they manually shut down all of the planes communications devices. Plus, no one's heard a peep from any of the passengers, which doesn't bode well. This is all still insane.

The gender gap in pay has stalled, everyone! But it's because men are making less. Women aren't making more.

The person who first put moneyed, influential Pearl District developers onto the scent of Commissioner Amanda Fritz's plan to move Right 2 Dream Too underneath the Broadway Bridge? A mounted patrol cop.

When cops found a 61-year-old Portland man dead in his home last week, they "did not see any indications of a crime," according to a news release. Which is odd, because when they looked closer it turned out the guy's nephew had stabbed him and stomped on his head.

A TV helicopter crashed in the middle of Seattle this morning, slamming into occupied cars and sending up a plume of black smoke. No word as I write this about injuries/fatalities.

Latinos are poised—like, this month—to become the majority of Californians.

SHARK ATTACKS 10-YEAR-OLD AUSTRALIAN. But only bites her hand?

I'm good with all of this. Spring is the best.

Have you guys ever fallen into the YouTube wormhole of adorable North Korean children performing on stage? Because, oh man, it's very hard to know how to feel.