GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Why do you riff with me, the maniac psycho? And when I pull out my jammy get ready 'cuz it might go BLAAAAW! (How ya like me now?) LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Malaysian authorities are calling upon the expertise of the FBI to recover some suspicious deleted data from one of the missing airline pilots flight simulators at his home. (The theory being that perhaps the pilot rehearsed taking his plane off course.)

Meanwhile in Crimea, 300 armed pro-Russian supporters storm and take a Ukrainian naval base. No shots are fired.

Back in the states, Obama's White House concludes that threats aren't enough to sway Putin, and now the plan is to start leveling economic sanctions with teeth. (Don't get us killed, please! Thank you!)

"Wage theft" is the new war cry for protesters rallying outside McDonalds in four major cities across the US today. (If you're wondering what Portland activists are going to be doing this summer—keep an eye on this "$15 minimum wage" story.)

In other worker news, the spiraling JC Penney is taking creepy legal measures against a former employee whistle-blower who outed the company for jacking up prices and then selling the products at a "discount."

According to sources close to the investigation, Toyota is expected to pay $1.2 billion in settlements after failing to report acceleration problems with their cars.

In a surprise court appearance, an ex-al-Qaida spokesman has agreed to testify about the events surrounding 9/11 and his involvement.

The National Transportation Safety Board is taking a hard look at the Seattle TV news helicopter crash yesterday that killed two people onboard, and injured one on the ground. Witnesses say they heard an unusual sound coming from the helicopter before the crash.

In "sport," the Blazers have a tough time of it, but eventually defeat the Bucks 120-115. Read all the gory details in Rob Simonsen's Blazers Live-Blog Recap!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showers today and tomorrow with lows in the mid-50s, but sunny weekend ahoy!

And finally, who wants to start their day off right by listening to this mashup of Dr. Dre and Thomas the Tank Engine? YOU DO.