TRANSCENDENCE Johnny Depp turns into a computer and starts ruling the wooorrrrrllllld! My guess is at some point we'll hear about how the director's cut of this was an hour longer and actually made sense. The cut that was released to theaters, though, shall join the ranks of The Net, Hackers, and Johnny Mnemonic as movies people like to point and laugh at in the future.

DOM HEMINGWAY Jude Law does his damnedest to play Dom Hemingway, but can't quite pull it off. Bonus points to ned for getting in a Repo Men reference!

AMERICAN MUSTANG A documentary about America's noble wild horses and their not-so-noble fate. Bonus points to Marjorie for resisting a Rolling Stones reference!

HEAVEN IS FOR REAL This is a movie that is about a small child in a religious family who thought he went to Heaven one time, and then he told people about it, and people believed him, because "out of the mouth of babes" or whatever. Speaking of Heaven, there's no way anything in this movie even comes close to the ending of This Is the End. (The statute of limitations on This Is the End spoilers has to have expired by now, right? Pretty sure if you haven't seen This Is the End by now, you aren't really that invested in how it ends.)

In FILM SHORTS, there's a lot going on this week, from Apocalypse Now and a Cinema Project program at the Hollywood to the Filmed by Bike festival at the Clinton to Winter in the Blood at the NW Film Center.

Here are your Movie Times. And good luck getting that song I linked to out of your head, jerks!