As if there was a question about where I'd be getting drunk this week. It's Whiskeyfest Northwest! Cinco de Mayo is for amateurs. A two-day festival featuring more than 120 whiskeys and scotches is for auteurs.

Organizers spread the event over two days this year, from noon to 9 pm Friday and Saturday. There's educational seminars, live music, vendor tables and vittles from Pok Pok/Whiskey Soda Lounge, Imperial/Portland Penny Diner, Pacific Seafood, Smokehouse 21, Brix Tavern and Solstice Pizza.

If you're whiskeyed out (you've come to the wrong place) there's craft beer and cocktails from Raven & Rose, Imperial and Swank & Swine.

But mostly get there for the best liquor of all time in all its splendid forms.

Tix are $40 for both days or $25 per day. At least some of the funds are going to Oregon Active Foundation, a Portland adventure therapy nonprofit for people with disabilities and other struggles.

You'll find me somewhere near the mechanical bull named Tipsy, laughing at people dumb enough to do shit like that in public.