We cover a lot of geography in this week's letters section, from our own dirty-coal threatened Pacific Northwest region all the way out to the frigid wilds of Minnesota, dragging Lindsay Lohan and backless bar stools along with us for the ride (this will make sense in a minute):

—First we (okay I) wrote a short review of the also-short environmental film Momenta. I didn't even say anything that bad, but whatever! Eric got mad at me. Apparently comparing the soundtrack to a Travel Portland spot is a bad thing but I like Travel Portland. Anyway.

—The alias-happy Chloe/Bruce/Jack took a comment made in our TV listings about radio being a "dying industry" to make a crack about newspapers. Haha, good one, Chloe/Bruce/Jack! You stay relevant too, ya hear?

—"A comfortable wino" wrote in—you can't make this shit up—about his wife's "major pet peeve": backless bar stools (points if you can spot the microscopic reference)! Really! And told the triumphant tale of how one time he switched around the furniture in a wine bar so that he and his wife could use the stools that had back on them!! High fives! I titled this one "First World Stool Problems" (get it???), which is the best thing I wrote this week.

—Speaking of wine, AnonInPDX, an AA member with seven years of sobriety lent some credence to Lindsay Lohan's claim that her infamous "sex list" was part of an exercise in her recovery. Oh!

—And then Shawn took it to the hoop with a Fargo-prompted lesson on Minnesotan pronunciations, also claiming that nobody there says "dern tootin'" or "ya betcha!" Thanks for killing all the fun parts, Sean, you fun killer.