I'm really frustrated with your column this week. While your advice was spot on, I hated seeing that it was entirely about "unicorns," Dan, because that term is the worst of all possible things and I would hope a sex-positive columnist like yourself would know better than to reinforce horrible stereotypes.

Whether socially or biologically, women are more likely to be fluid in their sexuality and men are more likely to be closeted. I'm a bisexual man who knows and has dated plenty of bisexual women. I'm married to one right now. There is no shortage of women to have threesomes with; they are not mythical beasts that nobody has ever seen. As long as I remember to not get expectant and pressure the women to accelerate their own relationship for my sexual pleasure, then threesomes follow. You know what is mythical? An openly bisexual man we click with. They're out there I'm sure, but if I get one more "Married and needing discretion" reply I'm going to blow a gasket—and not the good kind of "blow."

So, Dan, please stop perpetuating the term "unicorn" because it only forces bisexual women back into the closet, marking them as "other." Maybe you want to coin a new term for it, something accessible and realistic? You've done it before, I know you can do it again.

Blatantly Irritated

My response after the jump...


My use of the term "unicorn" to describe bi women who are either up for or actively seeking MF couples to play with—a term not only used by many MF couples seeking a bi third, BI, but also used by a great many bi women to describe themselves—is the "worst of all possible things"? Really? Worse than lavender crème brûlée? Worse the Hobby Lobby decision? Worse than the trouble this cocksucker is in? (Speaking of the Hobby Lobby decision: everyone please go read this essay by Martha Plimpton.)

Anyway, BI, the alternate term you seek—one that describes something accessible, realistic, and non-mythical—is right there in the column you're griping about:

We gays don't have a special term for a guy open to sleeping with a male couple. But if we were going to give that guy an affectionate nickname, FLUSTER, I would go with "horse." Because a horse, while a magnificent and majestic beast in its own right, is a whole lot easier to come by—and in and on and over—than one of those nearly-impossible-to-find bi female unicorns.

Horses—not just for gay male couples anymore.