And now for an important I, Anonymous Blog public service announcement: Nude beach ≠ sex beach.

In the seventeen years I have been hitting Sauvie's and going to the naked beach, I have really never had a bad experience. Puppies and kids frolicking about, bouncing body parts playing volleyball, swimming and fun, and all naked. Naked doesn't equal sex, and the people at this beach are aware of that. Imagine my disgust, and those of my beach neighbors, at having to watch you fuck. Imagine my disgust at watching you jack off your boyfriend's flaccid penis.

Maybe the boyfriend has some sort of medical problem? Or maybe he was flaccid because he saw some nude guy staring at him and furiously typing a submission to the I, Anonymous Blog—where your rants and confessions are always welcome... just keep your clothes on.