GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I had to interrupt and stop this conversation. Your voice across the line gives me a strange sensation. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Israel withdrew many of their ground troops from the Gaza Strip yesterday in an apparent "wind down" of their war against the Palestinians which left more than 1,800 there dead. Mission accomplished?

Okay, maybe they spoke too soon: As Israel made the above announcement, they also allegedly hit a U.N. school in Gaza with an airstrike that held displaced people, killing 10.

Okay, definitely spoke too soon: A Palestinian kills an Israeli in Jerusalem, and then overturned a bus with a construction vehicle (!!) in an apparent response to the war.

Meanwhile in Lebanon, thousands of Lebanese civilians and refugees from Syria flee for their lives as troops battle al-Qaida militants.

A 14-year-old Nigerian girl is charged with murder for poisoning the 35-year-old man she was forced to marry.

President Obama throws shade at Vladimir Putin in an interview with The Economist, saying that "Russia doesn't make anything." (Don't those awesome YouTube videos count?)

So apparently the CIA has a lot of 'splainin' to do regarding their suspect torture activities following 9/11—but luckily they have Republicans to sing their praises. Now, instead of constantly screaming "BENGAZI!!" they can yell, "OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!"

A landslide in Nepal is thought to have killed 160 people.

Two Americans may have been saved from the Ebola virus by a super secret experimental serum (which may or may not have been the one they gave Captain America... probably not).

Let's not blame Beyonce for this headline, okay? "Man Gropes Woman, Bites Off Her Boyfriend's Finger Tip At Beyonce-Jay Z Concert "

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Another hottie today with temps hitting 90—but don't worry, a slight cool down is scheduled for later in the week.

And finally, it takes this pro stuntman three attempts, but he jumps off a two-story building, slides down the roof of a house, and lands on a spiral staircase. FEH! My morning commute is tougher than that.