As you are probably not aware, the Mercury's second annual Pet Issue is coming right up on Wed Aug 20, so we thought: Why not host a motherfucking wiener dog race? Now, we looooove wiener dogs here at the Merc (except for Wm Steven Humphrey, who is inexplicably afraid of them, but whatever, he's out of town) so we are not talking about physically taxing the little wiener bodies of career racers—just some casual sprints for fun and to raise a few dollars for a pet charity (which one is TBD... this is kind of last minute, and we're still deciding!).

We're calling it: Wiener Takes All! And here is the fine print:

Come celebrate the launch of the Portland Mercury's Pet Issue! We've teamed up with Lucky Labrador Brewing for a family friendly Wiener Dog race, where the top Wiener takes it ALL. This 30 meter Dachshund Sprint is open to all dogs 10 inches or shorter that are at least 16 inches long. Spectators FREE | $12 for pre-race contestant registration | $15 day-of | This is a not for profit event. Race proceeds will be donated to a yet to be determined pet charity. Competition will feature multiple race heats to determine which wiener will best the rest. Fabulous prize packs will be presented to the winners!

As you can see we are not breed snobs; any long 'n' shorty is eligible to play. You can register your pooch here for this fine event, which you can is fine indeed by the dignified logo: