HUMP! 2014 is history.

Nearly twenty thousand people got HUMPed in Seattle, Portland, and Olympia over the last two weeks. There were marathon screenings at Seattle's On the Boards, Olympia's Capitol Theater, and Portland's Cinema 21. No cell phones were seized this year—yay!—and the Christians who threatened to "spoil" HUMP! were no-shows. Your exhausted HUMP! crew limped out of Portland's Cinema 21 after the final screening last night with just one final task...

Count the ballots.

There are $10,000 worth of prizes awarded by HUMP! audiences—including a $5,000 grand prize—and every member of the audience got a ballot and every one of those ballots got stuffed into one of our insatiable HUMP! ballot boxes. Audiences voted for Best Kink, Best Sex, Best Humor, and Best in Show. We used to count all those HUMP! ballots by hand—a process that took three staffers the better part of a week—but vote counting is going much faster this year thanks to science! Did you watch the video at the top of the post? That's our brand new optical motherfucking scanner, motherfuckers, and it's counting the ballots so fast that we're going to know who won HUMP! before the end of the day. (Thanks, Science!)

Want to know who won? Pick up the print editions of The Stranger and the Portland Mercury on Wednesday!

P.S. We loved our beautiful new HUMP! t-shirts this year and HUMP! audiences did too: the t-shirts sold out on the first weekend of HUMP! Didn't get a t-shirt? We ordered some more and you can order your HUMP! t-shirt here!