FINAL WARNING! If you love fun, dancing, and well-earned holiday hangovers, do not miss TONIGHT'S Portland Holiday Office Party at Branx!

Because so many of you have unconventional non-office jobs (or hate the office you do have) we've concocted the holiday office party of your dreams. We've converted Branx into a nondescript corporate office filled with cubicles, office machinery, and YOU dressed in hilarious semi-business attire. What more can you expect? JUST THIS!

• Fun-time disco dancing music provided by ANCIENT HEAT!
• More crazy ass dancing courtesy of DJ EVIL ONE!
• Tons of BOOZE!
• A “make-out” cubicle to share with your sexy “co-workers”!
• Roaming HR people trying to unsuccessfully stop you from making out.
• A photo booth for taking pictures of your make-out sessions.
• Singing elves!
• And a complimentary Xerox machine that can be used to photocopy one’s buttocks and/or genitalia.

This is going to be the wildest office party of your career (and you can't be fired), so don't miss it! GET YOUR CHEAP TICKETS NOW RIGHT HERE! It all goes down TONIGHT, Dec 19 at Branx (320 SE 2nd Ave) from 8 pm to late, and tickets are only $12 in advance and $15 at the door! That's not much money for a LOT of holiday fun!

WE'LL SEE YOU THERE... because as the boss says, "ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY."

Last years Xerox machine in action.
  • Last year's Xerox machine in action.