YES, I know it's National Cat Day. YES, I wholeheartedly support the Oregon Humane Society. And YES, I adore me some cuddly, snuggly kittens—and yet? SAY NO TO UBER'S KITTEN DAY. In case you haven't heard, the ride-for-hire system Uber is hosting a "kitten delivery on demand" day today in over 50 cities, including Portland. According to the Uber site, here's how it works:

1) Open your Uber app between 11am and 3pm.
2) Request the “KITTENS” option in your app. Set a reminder to request at the purrfect time.
3) Once the kittens arrive, you and your friends will get to enjoy 15 minutes of kitten cuteness! PRO TIP: Make sure to have an enclosed space purrrfect for playtime!
4) The best part? In most cities, kittens are eligible for adoption.

Naturally, many in the Mercury office wanted to take advantage of this kitten delivery service—and who could blame them? But I'm not in love with the idea. Again, I adore kittens, and I adore the Humane Society... but for the same reason I don't walk around town in an Uber T-shirt, I don't want to assist them in their blatant attempts to rebrand their horrible reputation.

Just last week a former Massachusetts Uber driver was convicted of raping a female passenger, not to mention last December's rape in India. Uber has a shitty reputation of stomping into markets before regulations have been established all over the world, and also right here in Portland. They have little regard for safety requirements, and even less regard for living up to their promises to provide ADA accessible rides, or paying their employees fairly. (In Oregon they may be forced to recognize their contractors as employees.) And there's that thing about the Uber exec who suggested digging up dirt on journalists who dare criticize the company. I'll stop there, though I could go on.

So yeah, Uber is doing anything they can to counteract this onslaught of terrible press—which they've clearly brought upon themselves. And they're using kittens to do it? FUCK THEM. I'll be damned if I'm going to offer them any assistance.

WANT TO REALLY HELP THESE KITTENS? DONATE DIRECTLY TO THE OREGON HUMANE SOCIETY HERE. (I just did!)