This just in: DUMB HATS ARE DUMB.

You wore your giant-brimmed hat to the Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats concert because it was cold outside and your precious noggin was chilly. That’s cool—I totally love wearing hats when it’s cold outside. But inside the venue, when 2,000 other concertgoers are smashed together in a small space and the ambient temperature is hovering around 110 degrees? It’s dumb. You’re tall, and the giant brim blocks the view of the stage for every single person behind you. Quit being a selfish asshole and take off your hat. Oh, I hurt your feelings when I loudly bitched about your dumb hat and what a selfish asshole you were being? I’m not sorry. Take the dumb hat off, dummy. You look like an idiot wearing it in the concert, and also, your dumb hat is ugly. You thought you looked like Indiana Jones for the Mumford & Sons generation? Whoever told you that is a slanderous jerk.

Hmmm... think this is what the hat looks like?

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In any case, read the rest here, and if you have a confession, rant, or just want to say something about dumb hats, drop it in the I, Anonymous Blog—where no one looks like Indiana Jones, ever.

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