Every time my BFF or I need a new vibrator or some humorously tall platform glitter shoes, you're the porn store we turn to. That's why when BFF urgently needed a pair of sexcuffs on Easter Sunday, we came straight to you. And my, were we delighted to see that you had a holiday promotion going on: spend $50 and pick a prize egg from the basket. In fact, we spent $80 and were thrilled when your employee slipped a dainty pink vibrator/massage lotion set into our bag. When we pulled it out on our way home, we noticed something was very, very wrong. Our hot pink box was held closed with several strips of packing tape; a clear indication that it had been previously opened. Willing to give your shop the benefit of the doubt, we assumed it had merely been a display model. But oh, no. We pulled the actual vibrator out of the box and it was STICKY as in someone had previously smeared it with LUBE and USED it. We also noticed that the bottle of massage lotion was only a quarter full. And, the icing on the cake: A DEAD BABY COCKROACH was at the bottom of the box. Eeeeeew. Ever heard of coupons? Because seriously, giving away sticky, used sex toys as a way to lure in unsuspecting customers is hands down the WORST idea anyone has ever had. Next time, I'll be taking my business to the shop giving away penis gummies with purchase. — Anonymous
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