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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

All Tied Up

Posted by Anonymous on Wed, May 25, 2011 at 2:14 PM

Hey dog owners, how about you stop dragging your K9’s along with you to the grocery store, coffee shop, etc. and leaving them tied up outside. You’re creating a potentially dangerous situation for the pet you supposedly love. Case in point: Today I saw some crazed out yahoo tossing a piece of Twix bar to a tied up pup. I gave the guy shit and all but pinched the head of his penis in the vice-like grip of my forefinger and thumb, but he laughed maniacally like Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkeys and ran off. A year ago I saw a dog that was tied to a newspaper box get riled up by a passing pit bull and pull the entire contraption over, creating a tremendous thud that very nearly caused at least one of its legs to go all Greg Oden. If your dog is super nice, then someone could easily steal it. If your dog is mean, its presence without an owner is a nuisance for anyone else trying to walk their dogs. Maybe a passerby is a prick and will let their dog attack yours while it’s defenseless and stuck in place. Your dog could get itself tangled up and choke. Or some asshole can feed it chocolate for the lulz. Your pets aren’t accessories for your walk that you should just leave outside to whatever random fate the nuts of Portland bestow upon it. Act like you care about your furry friend and stop being an asshole.

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