Dear John.

Don't call my phone every five minutes. I don't want to talk to you...I never do. Our "special" relationship is based on one thing, and one thing When we spend our "quality" time together is when I am flat broke and out of crack...period. I would never socialize with you on any other level. the only thing you bring to the table is cash. I tolerate you. You don't turn me on. The mouthwash industry thrives because of you and your kind. When I don't answer the phone it is because either I am in jail or I have money. Ever notice I am always available at the very end of the month? Caller Id is pretty standard these days...I know you called, so if I don't respond take matters into your own hands!