To the pile of homeless kids that yelled a bunch of incomprehensible nonsense at me and then called me a 'faggot' for not giving you spare change:

Tonight I'm going to go home and cook a huge, tasty fuck-off sized hamburger in your name. So, picture this: tomato, onion, seasoned ground beef, some swiss, sweet pickles, tons of A1. Maybe some relish. And that weird sweet german mustard. I'm going to medium/medium well it, open a nice bottle of beer, and just enjoy the hell out of that burger while you're outside begging for scraps.

After that, I'll probably take a nice long shower and read a book in bed — one that is conveniently not located in a wooded area spattered with shit and trash.

Anyway, that's all. Have a really hard life.