To all the idiots at Edgefield for My Morning Jacking who set up camp within 100 feet of the stage: Arriving early does not entitle you to set aside 40 square feet of prime viewing area as your personal space, so you should not get surprised and bent out of shape as intoxicated people try to get closer to the stage and then end up tromping through your real estate. You deserve every particle of dog turd that was stomped into your ugly rug. You pretty much asked for every beer that was knocked over and soaked into your blanket. Every bit of residual urine that was dragged across your sleeping bag is a sign of universal justice. There is no way to sit down and watch the show from there, anyway, so you're going to end up standing with the rest of us. If you want to have a picnic, there is plenty of room in rear of the venue, high up on a hill, where you can lazily sit back and watch the show as you get old(er). And die.
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