"Oh, wait . . . what's that?"
"Yes, this is an umbrel—"
"Al Gore says what now? He doesn't believe in RAINING? I won't need—"
(Oh, good Christ!)
Look, buddy: I don't know how far removed you & your buddies are from established science thanks to the "teachings" whomever the NeoCon flavor-of-the-week pundit happens to be at the current moment, but: "global heating" is NOT a belief. The "greenhouse effect" is not a belief, any more than the clouds & firmament itself are.
Don't like the "greenhouse effect" model? Well . . . how 'bout the "smoky bar" model? What happens when people go into a bar, fire up cigarettes, and exhale the smoke into THAT enclosed space?
That's right: it fills with smoke! (And, uh, no, unlike a bar: you CAN'T "properly ventilate" the firmament!)
I know, I know: "it's just a theory!" (So's Einstein's "Theory" of Relativity, and I won't even BOTHER mentioning Heisenberg's "Uncertainty" Principle — I bet you'd have a FIELD DAY with that!)
Science is complicated, you stupid bitch, and just because I'm a generation-younger-than-you male and you want to get into a dick-swinging contest with me 'cuz you left your wife and kids at home in the suburbs doesn't mean I'm going to know what the hell you're talking about if you accost me “apropos of nothing” at Lloyd Center for no discernible other reason than that I happen to be carrying an umbrella at the time, and — next thing you know — I'm like, “Here comes some weird dude in his 50's with an oddly-rigid look in his eyes . . . what's this all about?”
Leave me alone, Mr. "Irreverent," Neo-Con, rebel "scientist." Why don't you go . . . uh, pray for rain!
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