You are an asshole. I just saved your ass from getting to pay me a shit ton of money by swerving out of the way of your Jaguar as you blow through a stop sign towards me. Don't you FUCKING DARE yell at me that I don't have lights on my bike! I'm following the fucking laws of the goddamned road, wearing a bright yellow helmet, riding a bright red bike down a bike boulevard. It's fucking 7PM! Do you have lights on? If I had a light on, would it have made you decide to pay more attention to the BIG RED OCTAGON that you chose to ignore!? Fuck you and your fucking self-important bullshit. Guess what? An over-priced car doesn't hide the fact that you are a douche and you're losing your hair. Fuck you!
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!