I understand and respect the power that those best worst first most relationships hold over us. I hope, since you've decided to give it another shot, you both will have the chance to be happy together for awhile. but I also hope that when it's over, she leaves your heart and ego mangled, desiccated and oozing pus from a thousand tiny cuts. And I hope that it takes you a year or two to get over the feeling that no one can truly be trusted with your heart, all levels of intimacy can be faked, and at best we just project our fantasies on willing candidates and even most true best worst first most loves can be chalked up to the right equation of inertia that keeps you convenience fucking a total stranger. And while you're figuring all this out, I hope you keep getting fatter and more impotent. Asshole.