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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Diana Nyad Calls Off Swim from Cuba to Florida

Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 5:55 PM

OK, I'm a little late, since this broke 2 days ago. It's the woman who attempted to swim from Cuba to Florida as some sort of life-long dream. She was stung by a jellyfish and, according to the AP, another sting "could be fatal"— so she quit.

Next time, just keep going. And die. That way, an idiotic, banal piece of "news" will at least catapult you into some lame, soggy, sea-death-statistical posterity. Presently, you just seem like a total pussy for talking a huge swim-game and punking out. You blamed "stupid little Portuguese man of war" for ruining your heroic efforts (layered in grease, supplied with energy bars, surrounded by 2 kayaks with electric probes to keep sharks away, etc) but guess what: you deserve to be seafood. Welcome to the food chain. Those stupid little jellies are worth more than you; they reflect natural life, biodiversity, beauty; complexity. You suck.

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