Not that Old Town smelled all that great before your new restaurant opened, what with the packs of malodorous train-hoppers, rotting face crackhead grandmas, and innumerable legions of public-defecating homeless. But I am almost certain that I speak for the entire community when I say that we could all do quite well without the addition of billowing stratocumulous clouds of VAPORIZED ROTTEN ANCHOVIE INTESTINES which periodically belch out of your windows. I'm no master of Thai cuisine, but I'm fairly certain Thai fish sauce is not meant to be deluged over a high-temperature grill. Look at that squiggly writing on the bottle - it probably says "Warning - contains putrified fish offal. It is a violation of the UN charter to dump this product on a grill. Just add a few drops to your stir-fry, ok?" If I wanted to smell this all the time, I would just take a shit in a ziplock bag, toss in a dead fish, and leave it in the sun for a few weeks. Come to think of it, I believe I have a big bottle of industrial grade fish sauce that's been marinating in the cabinet under my sink since the late '90's. Look out for a few well-placed fish sauce Molotov cocktails crashing through your nice windows some night real soon.
Fish Sauce Assault
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