This Week in the Mercury


Thursday, October 20, 2011

You're Musicians, Bitches. Feel it!

Posted by Anonymous on Thu, Oct 20, 2011 at 1:35 PM

To the bands of a free show on Oct 18th at a notable Mississippi Ave. venue,

Do you love what you do, or is it just moderately more interesting than wanking at home? I'm not asking for much. I don't need to see shining figure-skater smiles or anything. It's just that, if you want to connect with the crowd, you should show them that you believe in what you do.

Band #1: If you're really that chill live, let us know. We'll bring a book and let you fade into the background.

Band #2; You rocked some tasty grooves, made me wanna shake it, but I held back cuz you were all a bunch of wooden Vulcans. I think I saw your keyboardist smile a coupla times, but she may have just been breaking wind. Give a little passion, and we'll pay you back. If you're gonna kick it like that, let us see you feeling it!

PS: I'm biased, cuz I work in optics, but just because your Great Aunt died and doesn't need her glasses anymore, that doesn't mean you shoulda snatched her specs from her casket. The same goes for all you damn hipsters and your ironically unfashionable fashions; stop stealing Grandpa glasses from the Lyon's Club donation box!

Band#3: I was buzzed when you came on, so I reserve critique.

For all of you: are you just nervous? Hell, I'd be. Chug a PBR, yak it off the edge of the stage, (the floor's concrete, so no worries) and play on. Remember; nothing you do can end the world. Get out there and let your feelings show. Do you really have anything to lose?

Bottom line: If you love your art, own it, and let it show. That's what we'll respond to.

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