Okay yall, I will confess to taking my shirt off at dance shows as a cheap ploy for some female attention but after witnessing it objectively last night I am making the promise to NEVER do it again. Not only were you the shirtless spasmodically dancing gnome that managed to almost knock my teeth out with those flailing elbows of yours (where I come from we call that a seizure, not dancing) but you had the uncanny ability to materialize on EVERY spot of the dance floor.
Look, I believe that "IF YOU GOT IT FLAUNT IT" but now I find that the only men with bodies good enough to get away with that shit are (me, of course) and GAY MEN. When YOU do it, it just looks ridiculous...and shave your beard: when you look like Bob Ross in the throws of a Molly binge you might not be attracting the type of tail you set out to...just saying.