Listen up newspaper thief:
If your intention is to make my life miserable- mission accomplished. I have the pleasure of waking daily at 1am in the frigid cold & rain plus working a full-time job to make ends meet. Next time you steal one of my papers try thinking of my 14hr workdays & all the labor involved even getting those 300 papers to their cozy little paper box homes. They don't get there by magic & a little gnome doesn't bring them either. I stuff each paper with ads, then lovingly bag them & run like a maniac to deliver them by 5am. So when you grab a freebie it's me who takes the heat & loses what few tips I get. You Mr./Ms. Paper Pincher have added another 30min every Sunday to my morning route. I now to take each one directly to doorsteps & you STILL manage to boost them! Thanks to your paper filching, the joy of re-delivering stolen ones the following day is mine. Not only have you made me irate, there are 2 streets of pretty steamed-up people who are sick & tired of discovering their paper has been lifted by the neighborhood paper bandit- AGAIN!!! One of these frosty mornings soon I am staking you out & catching you, consider this fair warning. Take heed you rat bastard- you & your sticky fingers have pilfered your last periodical!!!!!
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