I'm from California (all you haters can shove it where the sun dont shine) and let me tell ya, we got some straight up honies down there. When I moved up here, I heard all these raves about how "cool" everyone was. Myself being the coolest mofo this side west of the Mississippi, I decided to give Portland a shot. Move here, settled into an apartment, got a job and went on the hunt for some tail. Bar after bar, street after street and store after store filled with frumpy, chubby girls. What's with all the layers, even in the summer? Jesus, I'd give my left nut just to see a California girl. Think I'm being a dick? Well, I've never heard ANY songs written about Portland girls, so there. Hey Portland chicks, lose some weight, put on some makeup and show some skin for god-sakes! I ain't frontin.
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