This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Dear Shoplifter
Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 2:50 PM
I work at a retail store for a major brand downtown. I very much dislike my job and “the man”, but I dislike you even more. You come into my store with your oversized, tattered Macy’s bags and a scabby, sweaty face (from getting high or withdrawal it doesn’t matter to me. It’s just gross) and try to steal. Sometimes you win, sometime I win. It’s a game to me. I love that you steal from these corporate assholes but I also love catching you. I enjoy running you out of the store mainly because I loath you, your scabs and your stench. I also get a kick out of the incoherent gibberish you always spew during your exit. “I’m going to send all my shoplifting buddies in here,” was my favorite. Bring it, sucka. I have a very boring job and need something to do. I will not miss you when I quit this stupid job. But, I will miss the game we played.
Most Commented on I, Anonymous
-
Good Day for Crusades, Bad Day for People by Anonymous
-
Science Tax Bitches by Anonymous
-
Pearl Over 82nd, Bitches by Anonymous
-
I'm So Thankful I Didn't Sleep with You by Anonymous
-
Do Your Job or Quit by Anonymous
-
One Fluoride Post to Rule Them All by Anonymous
-
Stop Fucking Honking At Me! by Anonymous
-
Neighborhoods, or Neighbors? by Anonymous
-
Penis truck on Marine Drive by Anonymous
-
Shame On You!!! by Anonymous
Our Friends
- UrbanHonking
- Culture Shock
- Portland Roundball Society
- Steph Cassano
- Cort and Fatboy
- Street Roots
- Powell's Books Blog
- Portland Transport
- Portland Afoot
- Bike Portland
- Eater: PDX
- Portland Food and Drink
- Mr. Movie
- Sunday Softball
- BlueOregon
- Sightline Institute
- Ultra: Arts Portland
- Bitch Magazine
- Blazer's Edge
- Reading Local: Portland
- Portland Food Carts
- Stumptown Vegans
Our Enemies
RSSGoing to Seattle?
