Dear Portland Women of All Dating Sites Ever,
Please stop posing with your fluffy animals on every single profile you make. That's neat that you like your cat/dog. If you didn't you would be a horrible person. It show me nothing about you other than I would have to pony up a large bill of antihistamines to ever hang out at your place. Which I must say is a sizable investment for someone even as cute as you, who I have never even met. Your pet portraits have a home on facebook for people that have met your pet and might feel some sort of emotional investment in the little allergenic furball. As an introduction it gets an instant veto.
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