Seriously, man. You're ruining the only decent city in America. Yeah, I know, you don't think YOU, personally, are responsible. But you are. Why? Because you're just a trend-obsessed novelty-seeking ego-driven consumer who bought the media hype and thinks Portland is something YOU deserve to own, as if it were a pair of oversized black glasses or a Pixies t-shirt. You're buying something we NEVER were, and in the process creating a market for everything we stood in opposition to: consumerism, conformity and materialism. And there's no turning back once that happens. YOU, yes, YOU, RUINED PORTLAND. YOU, personally, are responsible for it turning into just another typical American city, which is what it will be by the end of next year. I came here a LONG time ago to escape people like you. And now there's nowhere left to go. I hate you. And I hate the way I KNOW you'll respond to this, which will be entirely, maddeningly typical of your kind.
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