This Week in the Mercury
Friday, January 27, 2012
I’m Sorry I Hit Your Car and Drove Away
Posted by Anonymous on Fri, Jan 27, 2012 at 1:29 PM
I was going about 90 miles an hour somewhere in residential SE and blew through a couple stop signs, slammed on my brakes, spun into your parked car — which probably stopped me from flipping over. Amazingly, I was able to drive away. Sorry about that.
Also, sorry for being too drunk to have sex with you for, oh, several years.
I apologize for blacking out on many, many nights and trying to piece together the details the next day via my cell phone texts, receipts in my pocket, blood in the sink, bottles next to the bed.
Sorry to everyone whom I stole liquor from. If I replaced it or diluted it with water, I'm even more sorry.
I'm sorry to my friends and coworkers, who have had to endure my bullshit excuses for a very long time.
I apologize for throwing up in your yard, or stuffing beer cans and wine bottles in your bushes.
Sorry about my half-hearted suicide attempt, which I can't even remember. That kind of takes the cake.
I've been drinking every day for the last 12 years or so. This is the third day in a row I've been sober. I don't have anyone to share that with.
6
You've made it through the first 3 days, & after 12 yrs. of daily drinking, you are probably in the clear as far as having seizures. But alcohol is one of the only drugs that does require medically supervised detox, because it can actually kill you. You might want to consider one of the detox programs in the area. Hooper is one, but i have not heard the greatest things about them. i have been to TRC in Tigard, & i had a really positive, supportive & compassionate experience there. But, there are others.
Beyond that, let me just say that i feel your pain & i know your struggle. Alcoholism destroys everything in our lives & we are left with nothing but solitude & self loathing. That is why support programs exist. On our own, we are left to face all that we have lost & destroyed with no one to tell us that sobriety is worth it, & that life is worth living. That there is beauty & that we are stronger for all that we have been through. And that support & camaraderie can serve as a powerful antidote to the loneliness, the misery & the fucked up fact that our drug of choice is ever present. Everywhere. Just going to the grocery store is a hard trip down craving lane.
It is possible. But it is nearly impossible alone. So, please, do seek out help & support. And you should really & truly acknowledge the strength that it has taken to make it this far. You can make it...You can have a life once more. Blessings.
7
Stay busy with new and different activities. Check craigslist activity partners, MeetUp.com, and Hands On Portland. There are worlds of mature, interesting, irreverent, crazy and sexy folks who get their kicks far, far from bars and big drinking. Find 'em and find fun and meaningful activities.
Exercise. Use your lungs and reengage your muscles. Your body will remember, if reluctantly at first, how to live by movin' and groovin'. Join a sports league, hit up the pool or weight room at a community center, try a free week of yoga or martial arts... The boost from the endorphines is fantastic for mental health and sense of accomplishment.
Find support and some new friends. I've personally gotten tremendous benefit from men's groups via The ManKind Project, and there are plenty of other types of groups that may speak to you. Find 'em!
Best wishes. Be strong.
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