This Week in the Mercury

One Day at a Time

Columns

One Day at a Time

The Week in Review


The Joke's on Us

Music

The Joke's on Us

The Dead Milkmen Aren't Dead Yet



Tuesday, February 7, 2012

RE: Curb Your Snake

Posted by Anonymous on Tue, Feb 7, 2012 at 3:07 AM

My "devilish reptile friend"? His name is johnny, and he is my little baby. You scared the crap out of him when you ran out of the bathroom with your hands up in the air screaming. And since you had your arms in the air, where was your baby? Cause I didn't see or smell it, and according to your repulsive description, we all should have. All I saw was a deranged young woman fleeing from the bathroom as if all hell were chasing her. After I managed to cease my hysterical laughter, a couple of young girls name up to me and asked his name and actually TOUCHED him without following your example. I guess my point is GROW THE FUCK UP AND ACT LIKE THE ADULT YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU ARE. Jeeze its just a snake for cryin out loud....

 

Comments (23) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Probably shouldn't have snakes out in a bathroom.

(Unless you're in the men's. *Cymbal crash*)

Happy to help you anonymous you dumbfuck.
Posted by tcraighenry on February 7, 2012 at 8:55 AM · Report
2
^ An attempt at such a lame joke and you dare call someone else a "dumbfuck"?




Thank you for the response to that idiot woman, IA. And thanks for setting the record straight (no baby, huh).

You're alright - just leave the snake at home next time. For ITS sake. People are crazy, you know.
Posted by DamosA on February 7, 2012 at 9:08 AM · Report
3
Oh DamosA :allears:
Posted by tcraighenry on February 7, 2012 at 9:11 AM · Report
4
Walking around with a baby snake? You're trying WAY too hard.
Posted by arenit on February 7, 2012 at 9:29 AM · Report
5
Maybe it is a service snake. I saw a guy who kept a snake around his neck, and when he would be on the verge of an epileptic seizure his body temp would drop, causing the snake to tighten around him. When that happened he knew to take his meds. That said, I think this I,A is fake
Posted by iceprez on February 7, 2012 at 9:47 AM · Report
6
Don't carry around a snake in public. It's going to get really big and stink up your whole apartment by the way.
Posted by Blabby on February 7, 2012 at 11:36 AM · Report
7
I dated a woman in Koreatown once who kept a large snake in a cage in her studio apartment. I dated her once.
Posted by Todd Mecklem on February 7, 2012 at 12:40 PM · Report
8
I think you and the other Anon should have a television show. Like Laverne and Shirley! Note to self, avoid Barnes and Noble
Posted by The Showstopper on February 7, 2012 at 12:43 PM · Report
9
"I dated a woman in Koreatown once..."



Since when has there been a "Koreatown" in Portland?
Posted by DamosA on February 7, 2012 at 3:41 PM · Report
10
Who said anything about Portland?
Posted by Anti freak on February 7, 2012 at 3:44 PM · Report
11
If the snake is your baby, take it in the stall with you. You wouldn't leave a baby unattended by the sink! Besides, snakes do not need constant attention, leave it at home. That's ridiculous to carry it around. "Growing up," as you say, does not include being accustomed to snakes in public bathrooms!
Posted by LuckyCharm on February 7, 2012 at 3:45 PM · Report
12
i still think that both of you are stupid
Posted by ScrumYummy on February 7, 2012 at 4:32 PM · Report
13
I bring my snake to the bathroom. ( wink wink )
Posted by Leaky on February 7, 2012 at 4:57 PM · Report
14
Seriously, you are a FUCKING ASSHOLE, desperate for attention, if you bring a snake into a public restroom.
Posted by Dumbfuck on February 7, 2012 at 5:26 PM · Report
15
That joke's already been done, Leaky. And it was lame as all fuck then, too.


And "Dumbfuck/unregistered comment", HOW is a person a "FUCKING ASSHOLE" just for bringing a small reptile into a public restroom? Alittle careless, sure... but that's it.

Calm down. Take some Vicodin and have a glass of Merlot.
Posted by DamosA on February 7, 2012 at 8:03 PM · Report
16
SNAKE COULD BE CONSTRUED AS A EUPHEMISM FOR PENIS
Posted by theterminizer on February 7, 2012 at 8:38 PM · Report
17
I'm not going to call you a fucking asshole, suggest you grow up, or make a penis joke... That said, it does seem to me that you might benefit from the much, much better policy of not bringing your pet snake with you on your shopping trips.
Posted by Tommy on February 8, 2012 at 2:57 AM · Report
18
Good idea, Tommy.

But that policy should also go for ALL but service animals. And children. And retarded family members.
Posted by DamosA on February 8, 2012 at 1:05 PM · Report
19
Snakes are not companions. Fuck that. If you don't want people to go all 'get these motherfucking snakes out of my motherfucking bathroom' on you then you need to keep the motherfucking snakes away from the people. Otherwise, would it make a nice belt?
Posted by Demondog on February 8, 2012 at 1:56 PM · Report
20
I think puppies would make even nicer belts. Very soft, pliable leather could be harvested from the finest of puppies.
Posted by DamosA on February 8, 2012 at 10:33 PM · Report
21
I think blowhard commenters with stretched out lobes who make comments everywhere, nonstop about stupid whiney shit WILL make good punching bags.
Posted by Geo Liquor on February 9, 2012 at 12:01 AM · Report
22
@18....so where does that leave you?
Posted by The Showstopper on February 9, 2012 at 1:47 PM · Report
23
:)
Posted by DamosA on February 9, 2012 at 3:59 PM · Report

Add a comment

Most Commented on I, Anonymous

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use