This Week in the Mercury

Blazin'

Music

Blazin'

Chastity Belt Gets "Ma-Toor"


Film Shorts

Film

Film Shorts

In Which We Hit It and Quit It



Thursday, February 16, 2012

A Day in a Life...

Posted by Anonymous on Thu, Feb 16, 2012 at 7:01 PM

"Son, it's sunny today, why don't you go outside and find something to do?"
"Not now mom, I'm busy"
"You're always busy. I never know what you do in this basement all day"
"Not now, mom!"
"Son, your father and I are worried, you really should get out. You're getting pale and really fat"
"Gawd dangit mom, I'm busy! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"
"You haven't paid rent in 6 months, your room smells like b.o. and pizza. Son, what do you do down here all day?"
"Jesus. Mom, I'm busy writing people online. These people write these stupid I, Anonymous posts and they're just dumb. So, I tell them that they're dumb. Can you leave me alone now?"
"I, Anonymous?"
"Yeah mom, it's a thing where people complain about stuff. I spend all my time complaining about what they complain about. I mean, what they complain about is dumb and wrong and I need to show them good that they're wrong."
"Son, you're wasting your life. You need to lose some weight, wash your clothing and face, and maybe get a girlfriend."
"I can't right now mom! Someone just posted a rant about people not using their turn signals. Gawd, what a dumb post! Pass me that cold pizza on the table and let me get to work correcting this person."
"...son, I'm calling someone. Maybe the Health Dept., I don't know where we went wrong."
"Dangit mom, can you leave me alone please?! I'll take a shower next week and go outside, I need to upgrade my computer anyway. Pass that cold pizza dammit!"

Comments (16)

Showing 1-16 of 16

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-16 of 16

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy