I know our relationship was going to shit. I knew you were planning an exit. I foolishly thought we could work it out, and I spent months trying.
What I didn't expect was for you to handle it so poorly. You told me you wanted to work things out, you claimed to be trying. Yet, through these past few months you've led me on. You admitted yourself that the only reason you stayed with me was so that you would have a place to stay, and you thought that if you didn't pretend to make it work, I'd ask you to leave.
To lie like that, to fake a relationship, and use someone simply so you have somewhere to sleep is fucked up. If you had any clue you'd know I wouldn't — couldn't — leave you out on your ass. If only we could have had that honest, open, and mature relationship that I was always pushing for, eh?
I don't feel bad about reading your text messages and discovering that you were fucking your co-worker and delving into a world of sex, drugs, and booze. I had my suspicions after you ditched me on several dates to hang out with him. Wrong or not, I deserved to know. You're angry denial when I asked only made it that much more obvious.
You hate me because I'm so "grown-up" and "responsible". So what if I don't want to go out and party every night? it's because I know that there are bills to pay and money to save. You want to go out and be reckless, young, and free? Fine, go for it.
I just wish you could have done it without leading me on, using me, lying, and cheating.
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