This Week in the Mercury


Friday, March 16, 2012

I Stole Your Bag

Posted by Anonymous on Fri, Mar 16, 2012 at 3:12 PM

Sometimes I think I'm funny and I'm not. For example I steal stuff sometimes as a joke. Once I stole someone's boat. Hitched it up to my truck and left it in a strip club's parking lot. I broke into a movie theater, but I only stole a case of Junior Mints. Last week I saw a Jehovah's Witness guy put his bag down and as he turned to lock up his bike I swooped in and nicked the bag. It had a bunch of reglious flyers and books and shit in it. But it also had a wrapped present inside. There was a card attached that said, "I know you can beat this. May God preserve your strenght. My prayers are with you." I didn't open the package (feels like a book or a picture), and there's no other identification in the bag, so I can't really return it. Now I feel like an ass and don't know what to do, except apologize for my stupid joke. I'm sorry and I wish I had been more thoughtful.

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