Why is love and dating have to be so frustrating and sad. Why doesn't it work out. I see so many couples in love, twenty year olds, sixty year olds, why are the thirty year olds so miserable?! Miserable! The pressure to fulfill the others life, fill up the holes, provide the inspiration is debilitating. To be feminine. To be fuckable. To be entertaining. To stop over-thinking. It feels insurmountable when all you do is fall in love and then not have it work out, and not really know why. Inadequacy. I understand arranged marriages... we just had some basic expectations of each other, and they were simple. Its so hard to be single. I just want to find you and have it be real this time. I don't want to find you and not have it work out anymore. I don't want to sleep with anyone ever again, to get to know anyone, to open up to anyone except you, whoever you are. Wherever you are. Am I stupid at choices or is this just how it is? Is it normal at 30 that nothing has worked out? Just a trail of failed long term relationships? I hate this. I want it to be over already, its so dominating sometimes.. over my direction in life even, which really sucks to realize about myself. Feminism is a cruel mistress to biology.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!