I smoked Crack for the first time when I was 28. I smoked it on and off for about 4 years, always chasing that high, like the cliche that it is. It's true though, you are always chasing that first rush. I regret smoking my first rock at some chicken joint near that Kmart on Sandy and 122nd. Met a cute skinny guy and he showed me how to smoke it in the parking lot. What a feeling! I chased it for 4 years, finding myself in very odd places. Bars, cars, apartments, living rooms and even in the woods. Was I scared? No, I never was. The people I ran into were indeed scary, but I wasn't scared of them. I figured I could talk myself out of any situation, which I did several times. I switched to Meth after I figured I was done with Crack. Meth was different, to say the least. It does make you lose your mind sometimes. You just wake up one morning or night and find yourself walking down some random street with no shirt on. How you got there, you'll never know. Sometimes you wake up in jail. Do I wish I could stop? Not really, I'm not ready to stop. For now, I'm just going to continue blowing old fat men for money to feed my habit. It's not all that bad once you get used to it. Hold your breath and work it, get the money and get out. I used to be pretty. I used to have dreams. I used to know what love felt like. I wanted to go to college, get married and have a family. Now I'm just some throwaway piece of trash that most of you laugh at. Lucky me.
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