Hey fuckwits, now this is just speculation on my part, but I'm guessing you drove your fireapple red matchbox truck in from the suburbs to go oogle the ladies at Sassy's, and after one too many Bud lites and lines of blow in the bathroom they kicked you out. Maybe that's why you load of drunken poloshirted roid ragers nearly ran into my friends outside of their apartment. It's also probably the reason you got mad at them, all blue balled and yakked out of your mind, jumped out of your truck and slammed one dude nearly through the apartments door, then cold cocked a girl when she yelled "leave him alone". Really fucking tough. Probably because your balls are as vestigial as your brains that you jumped back in your truck and sped off like fucking cowards. Two concussions and a broken nose later, we hope someone had to scrape your pathetic jock faces off of a highway overpass somewhere. Fuck you.
Meathead Assholes in their Red Matchbox Truck
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.