I know it was you that smashed chewed-up gum into the driver's side lock of my car. It was also you who splattered what appeared to be a handful of refried beans along the passenger side a few weeks later. You're just pathetic. That's the conclusion I've come to after being your downstairs neighbor for five months. My roommate and I hear your constant stomping around - evidence that you never leave the apartment, and therefore have no life. We also hear you drop heavy things several times every single day. Maybe if you got out more you'd at least acquire some coordination. I used to get mad at how loud and inconsiderate you were, which is why I tried to talk to you that one time. I even suggested it was the crappiness of this old building that was partly to blame. At the time, your flippant response made me think you're an asshole. Now I'm certain you're just a pitiful loser with no purpose but to violate floorboards and vandalize cars.
Beans and Gum, Together At Last
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