Dear Perv employees,
To those working at a certain theatre on April 25th. My girlfriend and I appreciate the opportunity to share oral moments and some subsequent mind blowing seat - sex in your back row in a 100% EMPTY theatre. (Maybe try some new marketing techniques, we understood we were the only paying customers.) We also understand expressing our love for over 20 minutes, before you pervy staff, came in and finally decided it wasn't ok to have sex, since they couldn't get a clear view on their camera any longer. Yes, a camera. Literally said "We got it on camera, and umm.. you guys gotta go." My amazing partner and I feel gifted for the moment of a life time and ability to make grown men act like cowards, once they realized they were the ones whom should have authorities called for watching our breath taking - borrowing of universal bliss - filled energy; before manning up and finally deciding maybe they shouldn't have evidence of watching their customers pay their mortgage, prior to selling this video online.
No apologies on our end, we have a calling to express our tantric connection in Portland across the Universe.
We walked out proud of our public/yet private, sexual experience, with bragging rights of being kicked out, and the theatre staff got to watch some super hot live action porn. Kudos to both.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!