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Monday, April 30, 2012

Lookin’ to Get Yoked!

Posted by Anonymous on Mon, Apr 30, 2012 at 6:58 PM

I have been steadfastly working on getting into shape for just over a year now and I am starting to get pissed off. I have been eating right and exercising with vigor. Every time I get in the gym I make sure that my mind is ready and that I am really pushing myself. I am without a doubt better than I was a year ago but fuck me if friends aren't seeing better results with DVD workouts in like 3 months or whatever. I am not wanting to look like I am on roids but I would like to feel confident in my birthday suit this summer out on Sauvie Island. I have been riding to work, running at lunch, eating a pound of spinach a week and thanks to crushed flax, shitting like 3 times a day. Where is the damn six-pack? I'll take four, three even. Don't get me wrong, I am happy when I sweat it doesn't smell like pickles and popcorn anymore. I want it to smell like dirty, sexy man pheromones, though. Pheromones that will infiltrate the nostrils of some sexy red head with sleeve tats stimulating a response of desire so powerful that at my bidding she changes city coding laws and the P-Palace finally opens. I will cover her in pudding and pleasure her right there on the putt-putt course. Maybe I am just a dreamer. Maybe I am just an HGH shot in the ass from living this shit out, though.

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