This is specifically directed at all the lovely folks down at the 24 Hour Fitness located downtown, but I bet everyone else could learn a thing or two:

1. Stop hogging the machines to just a) play with your smartphone/iPod, b) chat with one of your buddies, c) just sit idly whilst doing nothing

2. Quit leaving the cardio machines drenched in your sweat. You can clean up after yourself, you're an adult.

3. Specifically for guys: STOP wearing Axe in the gym, you smell horrible and some people are allergic to perfumes/cannot breathe around you.

4. Don't refuse to share reps on a machine, that just makes you a douche-bag.

5. Remove the weights from the bench presses so the rest of us know when they're not in use. You're at the gym: no excuse to be lazy.

6. STOP leaving your bloody Band-Aids all over the locker room floor. It's DISGUSTING. What the hell is wrong with you?

7. Shower off before getting into the pool/hot tub. That's what those showers are there for and no one wants to swim in your sweat. Ick.

6. Specifically for straight men: We live in a metropolitan city, there are gay/bi men here. Chances are, someone is going to check you out. Get over it. The rest of us don't want to hear about your homophobia, especially because it seems that you "doth protest much."

7. With the advent of the Internets, you don't really need to pick up people at the gym. It's not classy, it's nasty. Most of us want to work out in piece.

8. Stop flexing in the mirror. You look dumb.