Oh dark beard & glasses man of The Screen Door, you hurt my eyes! Every time I’ve gone you’ve been there looking manly, almost rustic (it’s that red flannel you wear) & truly delicious. My friends talk about how that restaurant is full of good looking men. I’m not the kind of gal to take notice of such things but I noticed you. Thursday (5/24) while waiting for our waiter I saw you at the bar, looking bored/miserable (why so glum, Mr. Pretty Pants?) I stupidly sighed “I’m so in love with that waiter. He is too beautiful.” As I said this aloud our waiter appeared by my side. He heard.The mild embarrassment that bloomed was replaced with determination. You must know, Mr. Dreamy Beard and Glasses Man of The Screen Door! Surely, our waiter told you & some of the other servers because when my friends & I got up to leave there you were, you & two others, looking amused in our general direction. Why else would there be a gaggle of males? Maybe I’m imagining things...You did actually smile. Whenever I’ve been there I don’t see you smile much. Do you know that when you smile you become twice as attractive? It is not enough to write this. All of this must come out of my mouth. I must tell you so that it might cause you to smile, give you solid confirmation of how powerfully attractive you are (there should be statues made in your image near libraries & entrances to campsites) & so that I might have peace in knowing I have finally let you how you make my motherboard overheat.
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