I really do love taking the bus to and from work. I do it every day, Monday through Friday. And nearly every morning as I'm listening to my music and focusing on nothing, the same obnoxious, 19 year old, socially retarded, dumb fuck honks his horn at me, flashes me a smile and gestures for me to get into his dirty, lifted, covered in "I love hunting" stickers, truck.

Seriously? When has this ever worked?

Can someone clue me in on the allure to young men honking at women? First, it startles the shit out of us and then instantly pisses us off.

What is your motivation??!! Do you want a complete stranger getting into your ride? Do you think I'll be so moved by this romantic notion of fucking honking my ear off that I'll jump into your big rig and give you an appreciative morning handy?

Stop it. Seriously. You drive east on Powell Blvd in a dark red, early 2000s Ford pick up. You ruin my mornings.